Updated: Nov 17
Reflections of my daily walk.
I thank you for this day.
I thank you for the gift of life.
I thank you for the air I breathe.
Today I was reflecting on “My You Season”. I happened to be looking at a live by Tabitha Brown and she was saying we don’t really focus on our "You" season.
I was almost in tears last night because over the last few months, I have just been all over the place with my emotions. I have been trying to just make sure everything is in order. I felt like I lost my faith a little and forgot who is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I was frustrated that I allowed myself to forget that piece. Even though I am telling myself to keep the faith, saying bible verses & prayers, speaking to Him on a daily basis, meditation and listening to TD Jakes & my Bishop. There were just days that I felt like I was overwhelmed. I am a newly divorced, mom of two. I had to move quickly & move in with my mom, which I feel like if you are over 50, you have no business moving in with your mother. Granted, it was a blessing to be able to have somewhere to move and be in a safe environment for my kids. That was a relief. BUT...I know my mother and she loves her space.
One of the things that was placed on my spirit was that I wanted to move within 3 months & I wanted to do it on my own. It’s something about asking others to help you. Some people will hold that over your head and say things like, “Well if it wasn't for me, you wouldn’t have had XYZ." I definitely didn’t want to hear that so...I asked no one to help me. Me, my daughter and son moved everything into storage and settled into our new apartment. GRATEFUL. This was the FIRST time I have EVER moved on my own. I have always lived with my mother. So to leave a relationship of 22 years and go out on my own was a pretty challenging moment. I had to remind myself that on top of it all...I survived Cancer!!!
The reason I was so emotional was that I thought, if God spared my life from Cancer...
HE can do above & beyond my own understanding. I just thought, "Girl, you did that...God did that!" God was with me every step of the way. If he got me through that, there is no doubt that He would NEVER leave you out there alone, ever again. The emotions came because I wasn’t allowing myself to be in the present.
I had to remind myself of where I was and understand where I am now. If I never gave up, then it was no way I can give up on God now. He has far more for me to accomplish. I had to see that I survived, managed to move and got a place where I asked God for me to be, and Be OK. He will provide me with ALL that I need. If I just continue to trust Him and trust the process. I am good. I had to remember His promises to me. In John 15:5, it says:
“I am the vine and you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him will bear much fruit, for without me I can do nothing.”
I know all that I have gotten through & I didn’t do on my own. My Faith caused my breakthrough. I had to remember what I say all the time:
"Be intentional in staying in the word of God, Be consistent in your communications to God, and be In the presence of God daily."
I am grateful for that. I can’t allow myself to sit in misery, worry, stress or fear. I embrace the moments and conversations I have with God which allows me to not stay in those spaces of uncertainty. It was just frustrating to me that I was getting in my own way. If I just allow God to do what he does, all is well.
So the moral of this story is...
Trust the process.
If He brought you to it then He will bring you through it.
Stay in faith,
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